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Again with the Nakedness

I never had maternity pictures of “that special time” taken because I just never felt magical about the whole thing. Want to know what my picture would show? My having both a hypo and hyperactive thyroid, with my OB saying, “I have to be honest and tell you that I’ve never seen this before.” That was encouraging. Let’s also talk about the raging urinary tract infections that caused preterm contractions… and I know I’ve mentioned outweighing The Husband, the stretch marks and iron shots before. Not only would I NEVER show naked maternity pictures to people, I would never plaster them on a magazine cover, which brings us to yet another celebrity thinking we want to see their nakedness because they are pregnant. Like we didn’t already know they put out…

You know what I want? I want someone who takes a stand against showing the perfect photo. We are not stupid. If it looks too good to be true, it is. That picture is so airbrushed, photoshopped and doctored, it’s shameful. Want to know how I know???

Because of this:

(THIS would have been my maternity photo – thrilled expression and all. Not the boobs though. They were never that impressive.) There is no way she can have that belly and those boobs, without stretch marks, mmmmkay? Also? She has been eating Cap’n Crunch, mac and cheese and BUTTERED POP TARTS – hello? Cellulite? We sooooo know it’s there.

I’d really appreciate it if she’d give birth already because she looks so uncomfortable, *I* start having sympathy pains whenever her picture pops up… or it could be the fajitas I had earlier. Either way.

source, source

7 Responses to “Again with the Nakedness”
  1. becky says:

    You should sooo find one of her in sweats. And a headband. No makeup. Looking like a pissy swollen cow. That’s how I felt AND looked when I was pregnant. Fat, overheated, pissy, cow. I’m pretty sure the only time the word “hot” was mentioned in my presence was when I was complaining that I was having yet another “hot flash.” It’s good she FINALLY stopped b*tching about being pregnant & got that way… but hell yaz to the “airbrushed” and NOT REAL!!

  2. Kriss Cramer says:

    Thank you! The second pix was a good reality shot.
    I’m with you…I didn’t feel the magic during pregnancy either.

  3. DONNA says:

    Tooooo funny!!!

  4. Cheryl says:

    Seriously? ANOTHER one? I honestly don’t think I was awake enough during my 1st pregnancy to try to look sexy (airbrushing or not!), and during my 2nd pregnancy, I was running around like a lunatic too much to have time for it. I actually got mad once when hubby turned a camera in my direction!

  5. teri says:

    How’d you get a picture of me naked and pregnant? Cuz that’s what I look like. Exactly. (After airbrushing, natch.)


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